Hey look, I survived another day!

I opened my eyes as usual today at 4.55 and started to did my morning activity, prepared myself to go office, as usual.

The anxiety, always came at my early morning caused a ‘not ready’ feeling almost in my every morning.

I felt sorry to God, because still cannot become a good guy. Ain’t I should be grateful for wake up with normal breath without any medical tools on body? Maybe the life that I complained about is the life that other people really wanted? realize it, me. ck, human.

I skipped my breakfast this morning because had meeting today, so I rushed myself to go. I worked as usual, did my duty, finish some task, talk to some people and feel empty. At some points, I stopped worked and stared at the lamp, asked myself  “did I really want this?”, throwback at how I really wanted to work at the city, in a big company that has tall building. Ya, I  worked at the city right now, but, I’m not sure whether I love what I do right now or no. Because it keep make me feel ‘uncomfortable’ at my night and my morning, on my sleep and on my daily activity. I worried my health sometimes, I’m afraid this anxiousity affect to my healthy. But, somehow, I’m afraid to lose this job also, cz I can’t make my parents sad with my choice. I need to support them also, in this critical point, I think they do need me right now. So, welcome to the crisis 🙂

I feel like living with no dream. I keep doing stuff that necessary. But forget how to be really happy. I keep walking, but don’t have place to go, so I just keep walking, don’t know which way to go. In the end we just do something, cz we need to live normally.

I keep asked myself until time to go home, so I prepared myself again to go home. And… Hey, I survived another day! I did a good job, woke up at early morning, didn’t late, worked hard and tried hard to finish it all, I did okay..! Good job, me..!
I might still can’t figure out the answer, yet. Life must be laughing at me right now, look how funny I am because keep grumbling but keep repeat the same activity. But, as long as I breath, I will keep survive, I will keep searching, my dream, my passion, my purpose, because life is about a discovering. No matter how professional you are, no matter how old are you, life will always ready to throw a lesson for you to learn.

I hope I could figure out the answer of my life questions, soon, and get myself stable, soon.

Dear 2018, I will survive you 🙂